THE LAND OF BROTHENS
Shepard, Go the Fuck to Sleep:
The varren nestle close to their cubs now.
The Elcor have laid down in their keep.
You’re cozy and warm in your bed, Shep dear.
Please…Go the fuck to sleep.
The windowless Geth ship is dark, child.
The Krogan sleep down in the deep.
I’ll clean every last one of your toy ships if you swear—-
You’ll go the fuck to sleep.
The ships that soar through the sky are at rest
And the rachni who crawl, run and creep.
I know you’re not horny. That’s bullshit. Stop lying.
Lie the fuck down, Shepard, and sleep.
The wind whispers soft through the ship, Shep.
The crew, they make not a peep.
It’s been thirty-eight motherfucking minutes already.
Goddamn, Shepard—-what the fuck? Go to sleep.
All the soldiers on base are in dreamland.
The troopers have made their last leap.
Hell no, we can’t go to a strip club, Shep.
You know where you can go? THE FUCK TO SLEEP.
The harvesters fly forth from the swamplands.
Through the air, they throw shit and reap.
A bitch fit is filling my fist, Commander.
Please, fucking shut up and sleep.
The thresher maw is sleeping and snoring.
Wrapped all in this…big nasty heap.
How can you do all this other crazy shit—-
But you can’t just lie the fuck down and sleep?
The weapons are all in the armory, now
And the shit you never let me keep.
No more fondling, damn it—-this kink shit is over—-
I’ve got two words for you Shepard: fucking SLEEP.
The Salarians recline in their labs and coats.
Legion has finished his security sweep.
Fuck your stuffed Kaidan ass, I’m not getting you shit—-
Close your eyes. Cut the shit. Sleep.
The Reapers are fucking shit up
And Earth’s just a big garbage heap.
My life is a failure, I’m not your damn ‘Gare-bear’—-
Stop touching me there!—-Go to sleep.
Your fish are all staring at us.
As I lie here and openly weep.
Sure, fine, I’ll bring you some scotch—-
Who the fuck cares? You’re not gonna sleep.
This room is all I can remember.
Your clothes are all tacky and cheap.
You win. Go ahead. I’ll turn off my visor.
As I nod the fuck off, and sleep.
Purring and twitching I wake my ass up
To find your eyes shut, so I keep—-
My talons crossed tight as I get the Hell away,
And pray that you’re dead or asleep.
I’m finally looking at Fornax.
Calibrations are looking just fine. Beep.
Oh Fuck. Holy Shit. You’ve got to be kidding.
COMMANDER, GO THE FUCK BACK TO SLEEP!!!
OK so k4ll0’s awesome tali model (and maybe a little ‘talizora actual cannibal’ incident) made me wanna draw up some quarians and do the whole design rationale thing too lol. I drew a tali design a long time ago so it’s still based a little on that.
k4ll0 had a really good point in that quarians probably don’t have hair or sweat, being from a very hot desert planet. I did add in some vent type holes or whatever, in some natural fossils of the body, and the little tendril things on top could also help vent heat if they had the right kinna blood vessels in them. I like to think they used to get pretty long (everyone knows head tentacles are hot, even protheans) but since they started suit life they started tying them together and docking them so they never really go any farther than the bottom of their neck.
I do like bald quarian designs but I had always seen them as having some kind of stuff up top, mainly because 1. their suits include hoods, which.. i dunno I thought it might have been for holding hair-type stuff, or just to mimic having it, otherwise why have that at all? and 2. give them more resemblance to the mechanical aspects of the geth like wiring, a long with the hooded-arch appearance. Same reason their ears would effectively be molded into their heads, just creating more arched lines (and reverse-engineering from the fact that their suits don’t look like they have ear room like k4ll0 said). And their skin would be kinna rough on their backs AND they would have big cute eyelashes like camels do because: desert. And uh they have pointyish noses rather than flat noses just because eh I mean you can see in the mask enough to tell they do.
TEETH ok so Rannoch dosen’t have insects right? So they probably don’t have small animals that eat insects or plants that like.. only reproduce through fruits and stuff because there’s no pollenation?? So like.. I guess I picture the planet only having largeish animals, and large tough desert plants. I know in their suits quarians only eat paste or whatever but they’ve only been in suits for like 300 years, not nearly long enough to really evolve anything different as far as bones goes. So on the planet they would have to have evolved teeth for ripping and shredding and chewing really tough plants and animals (there’s no way a species shaped like they are on a DESERT planet ate mostly plants). Plus I think big pointy teeth are rly cute and you can justify basically anything with ‘sexual selection’ HEH
Also my rational behind the horrible in game picture is Tali bad facebook style shooped it and Shepard was just like “tali.. i’ve seen your face, this dosen’t look anything like you.. did you photoshop this” and she’s like UHH
This is amazingly accurate… My sister had a dance performance the night I finished the game, and I just sat in the audience like that the entire time.
Then I went home and cried into a giant bowl of ice cream.
(Source: brinnyart)
theautobiographicalcarpetcleaner:
Far too often, i think.
Me and my girlfriend being silly. ORDER. OF. THE. PHOENIX.
sigh
A hundred years I might speak and still you would not know us. You with five senses. Us with six. The one we kept from you. To be safe. Now, you can never know. Only try. Grasp. You can SEE. SMELL. TASTE. TOUCH. HEAR. Knowledge has been blocked away. After, when the world became undone, we tried to pass it through the blood. Tried to join you with us. You see the blue shimmer. You hear the words. But you do not know. WE SHOULD HAVE LEFT YOU AS YOU WERE. It is hard to stay contained. Knowing as we do. We wait for you, Desmond. You will come here. You will activate it. You will know only when it is too late.
